| | And what's the deal with airline food? |  |
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bmkeith12
Skeleton Terrorist
 Number of posts : 126
Age : 32
Location : Scottville, Michigan
Primary Weapon : I don't have one.
Secondary Weapon : I'm too poor to afford one.
Registration date : 2009-01-23
 |  Subject: And what's the deal with airline food?  Fri Jan 23, 2009 7:12 am | |
| Okay guys, here it is. The Joke topic. Lets hear some of yours! I'll Start with some Chuck Norris  Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris. | |
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MR_GOD272
Zombie
Number of posts : 69
Age : 33
Location : Michigan
Primary Weapon : m16
Secondary Weapon : sniper
Registration date : 2009-01-24
| | Subject: lol Sat Jan 24, 2009 6:01 am | |
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bmkeith12
Skeleton Terrorist
Number of posts : 126
Age : 32
Location : Scottville, Michigan
Primary Weapon : I don't have one.
Secondary Weapon : I'm too poor to afford one.
Registration date : 2009-01-23
| | Subject: Re: And what's the deal with airline food? Sat Jan 24, 2009 7:51 am | |
| What's Hitlers least favorite planet?
'Jewpiter'
Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
What did the little German boy get for his birthday?
Easy bake oven and a G.I Jew
A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"
"Africa," says the parrot.
Tattooed Penis
This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal. To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day."
Proud Jamaican Father
A Jamaican man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical Jamaican baby boy weighing 20 pounds."
Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the father of the Jamaican baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds."
The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?"
The Jamaican father took a slow sip from his Red Stripe beer, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
A couple of blondes got lost at the mall. So they go to the map, where they see a red arrow that says:
YOU ARE HERE
One blonde looks at the other and exclaims:
"WoW! How do they know that?"
Why does Snoop Dogg Carry An Umbrella??
Fo' Drizzle
What does Snoop Dogg wash his clothes with?
blee-aachhhh!!
Why did Snoop Dogg buy a german cook book?
Fo' schizlet
What does snoop use wash his car?
His hose
What is Snoop Dogg’s favorite tool?
Da Chizel!
What does Snoop Dogg listen for while cooking his bacon?
Fo’ Sizzle!
What did snoop dogg tell 50 cent when he saw him putting on a sweater?
Hey G, you knit? | |
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Admin-Mr Hyde
Undead General
Number of posts : 54
Location : Scottville, MI
Primary Weapon : M324SG-A Sniper
Secondary Weapon : mp5a4
Registration date : 2009-01-22
| | Subject: adventurous Wed Jan 28, 2009 1:04 am | |
| Getting a bj from a fat chick is like bungee jumping DON'T look down | |
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bmkeith12
Skeleton Terrorist
Number of posts : 126
Age : 32
Location : Scottville, Michigan
Primary Weapon : I don't have one.
Secondary Weapon : I'm too poor to afford one.
Registration date : 2009-01-23
| | Subject: Re: And what's the deal with airline food? Wed Jan 28, 2009 3:48 am | |
| .........WoW........  | |
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MR_GOD272
Zombie
Number of posts : 69
Age : 33
Location : Michigan
Primary Weapon : m16
Secondary Weapon : sniper
Registration date : 2009-01-24
| | Subject: Re: And what's the deal with airline food? Wed Jan 28, 2009 7:50 am | |
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bmkeith12
Skeleton Terrorist
Number of posts : 126
Age : 32
Location : Scottville, Michigan
Primary Weapon : I don't have one.
Secondary Weapon : I'm too poor to afford one.
Registration date : 2009-01-23
| | Subject: Re: And what's the deal with airline food? Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:52 am | |
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Admin-Mr Hyde
Undead General
Number of posts : 54
Location : Scottville, MI
Primary Weapon : M324SG-A Sniper
Secondary Weapon : mp5a4
Registration date : 2009-01-22
| | Subject: Re: And what's the deal with airline food? Thu Jan 29, 2009 8:03 am | |
| u guys have some good copy past skills on the jokes | |
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bmkeith12
Skeleton Terrorist
Number of posts : 126
Age : 32
Location : Scottville, Michigan
Primary Weapon : I don't have one.
Secondary Weapon : I'm too poor to afford one.
Registration date : 2009-01-23
| | Subject: Re: And what's the deal with airline food? Thu Jan 29, 2009 8:05 am | |
| Well shit, You think I thought those up? Hellz NO! | |
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Admin-Mr Hyde
Undead General
Number of posts : 54
Location : Scottville, MI
Primary Weapon : M324SG-A Sniper
Secondary Weapon : mp5a4
Registration date : 2009-01-22
| | Subject: Re: And what's the deal with airline food? Fri Jan 30, 2009 2:02 am | |
| i kno u dint think of them all | |
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bmkeith12
Skeleton Terrorist
Number of posts : 126
Age : 32
Location : Scottville, Michigan
Primary Weapon : I don't have one.
Secondary Weapon : I'm too poor to afford one.
Registration date : 2009-01-23
| | Subject: Re: And what's the deal with airline food? Fri Jan 30, 2009 6:43 am | |
| Well I thought up a couple of them... | |
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